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"[Bischoff's] wrestling credentials are about as real as his hair, teeth, and talent!"--Jim Cornette
"[Sunny]'s been makin' eyes and makin' passes at Owen Hart, and he's MINE!!! I mean, he's under contract to me!"--Jim Cornette
"I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegetable, or mineral." -- Jim Cornette
Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: "Ladies & Gentleman, the man who taught William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!"
"The Judge wont allow Pee Wee to defend himself and Pee Wee knows for sure that he can get himself are." -- Jim Cornette
"He's so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwards." -- Jim Cornette
"Eventually, even a blind squirrel will find an acorn." -- -- Jim Cornette
"That's where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off." -- Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark
"Samoan Savage is so ugly he has to get up early in the morning & ambush breakfast."
"Rick Steiner is so stupid, he once stayed up all night to study for a urine test."
"Norman is so stupid, mind readers charge him half price."
"Norman is so fat, he has furniture disease - his chest is in his drawers."
"Rick Steiner is so stupid, it takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch `60 Minutes'."
" Who is it--Deep Throat, or does Sunny have anything to do with it?"--Jim Cornette, on Jim Ross's "sources"
