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"You are all just a legion of inebriated zombies"
CM Punk: "I told you soooooo! It seems like I'm out here a lot saying that to you people, right? I know it seems like a lot, but the truth is, I said I would beat Jeff, and I did - I told you so. I said that I would get rid of Jeff Hardy FOREVER, and I did - I told you so. And then I said I would make the Undertaker tap out to the Anaconda Vice and you laughed. But then I did just that. And contrary to what you people believe, I didn't come out here to brag about being the first and only man to make the Phenom, the Undertaker, tap out. I came out here to confront the Undertaker. I came out here to confront the Undertaker in MY ring, or my yard if you will. I came out here to stick MY World Heavyweight Championship in his face, and look him in the eye and say to him I TOLD YOU SOOOO. But of course he's conveniently not here right now, so instead I think I'll address all of you people.
It's come to my attention that you people think that I've been preaching to you. Alright, we'll call a spade a spade, the truth is, yes I have because you people need a good preaching to. You people need somebody you can look up to, you need a leader who isn't morally corrupt and you need somebody who is righteous, not self-righteous. And I know what you're all gonna do next. You're gonna do exactly what your hero the Undertaker did, you're gonna give up. Well, by the looks of half of ya, you already have. I mean, what kind of life is it that you live? What kind of existance do you have where you wake up in the morning and you have to pop a pill to help crawl out of bed? Then you ravage your body with pitchers of beer. And that's supposed to somehow heal your broken self-worth. And then you just make excuses about inhaling poison into your lungs just to calm your nerves. And then, at the end of your sad, pathetic, lonely day, you're in need of another pill to make you forget everything, you need a pill to help you sleep. You are all just a legion of inebriated zombies waiting in line at the pharmacy with your hand out, begging and pleading for that newest anti-depressant that you think is going to help put an artificial smile on your face. You scratch and you claw for scapegoats for all of your inadequacies. And believe me, you have a lot of inadequacies. And don't tell me that you don't self-medicate yourself to forget about it all. Don't tell me you don't self-medicate the height from all your inadequacies. Don't tell me you don't do it. Because if you do, then you're a liar too.
You're lying to yourselves right now, you're lying to the person next to you, you go home and you lie to your family, and it's insulting because right now you're lying to me. And I can see right through all of you people and your lies because I am not a liar. I am a man who means what he says and says what he means. What I am is a prophet. I am the choice of a new generation. I am a champion that everybody can finally be proud of. I am the first and only straight-edge World Heavyweight Champion in history! And if you're not straight-edge like me, well that just means I'm better than you!"
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