"Tonight I'm gonna rewrite the ending of the Jeff Hardy story!"

Josh Mathews: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, CM Punk. Punk, tonight you get an opportunity to become the World Heavyweight Champion once again, what are your thoughts heading into your Tables, Ladders and Chairs match with Jeff Hardy?"

CM Punk: "Well, I would love to talk to you about that right now, Josh, but there's something else I wanna bring up, and that's this. [Zeigt ein Drehbuch 'The Jeff Hardy Story'.] I had a friend in a fancy Hollywood agency the other day and he ran across this little gem. Somebody actually took the time to write a screenplay about the Jeff Hardy story. So I was paging through it and - lo and behold - it culminates of course with Jeff conquering his demons and beating me here tonight in a TLC match at SummerSlam. What a great feel-good story, Josh, all except of course for the ending which is not reality-based. It's fake, it's phony, just like everybody who lives in this town. I go as far as to say that I'm the only real person in this building right now. I wish I could say it's a Los Angeles epidemic, but the fact is it's worldwide. You have people that falsely idolize what they see in movies and on television. You have housewives in Iowa that subscribe to 'US Weekly' or 'us Weekly', or whatever it's called, so they can model their hair after Kate Gosselin, instead of helping their own children with their homework. You have little kids all over the world, millions of 'em, who idolize the hip, cool star, and it doesn't matter if that hip, cool star is some dork vampire in Twilight, or if it's Jeff Hardy. It doesn't matter if that hip, cool star has a reprehensible, reckless lifestyle. You know, it doesn't matter if the collective intelligence of this entire country continues to spiral downward day in and day out. It doesn't matter as long as it's cool, right?

You know why they don't make movies about a guy like me? It's 'cause I don't support your poison society. I don't support this, this den of iniquity known as Hollywood. No, instead I'm dismissed as being preachy, except I'm not preachy, I never have been, I just tell the truth. You know, I'm not a screenwriter either, but tonight I think I'll take a stab at it, tonight I'm gonna rewrite the ending of the Jeff Hardy story. It's gonna be horrifying, it's gonna be very, very, graphic. It might be hard to watch for a lot of people, but it will have a happy ending: New World Heavyweight Champion---C-M Punk!" [Punk wirft das Drehbuch auf den Boden.]